At the Odyssey Partnership we are able to assist individuals to manage the stress they are facing through 1-1 sessions, tailored MP3 downloads to  listen to at home and by teaching techniques which enable people to feel that they are more in control of their lives. 

For more information follow the link to the full article:110509150845.htm

We were very interested to hear of a new website that has been developed called Happy Rambles

You register for free and each night are sent an email encouraging them to fill in a log detailing the most positive things you experienced that day (between 3-5). The site also sends a reminder of a previous entry that you have made just as a reminder.

So, why bother?

Well, clinical tests in the USA have shown that a very simple exercise can bring about powerful changes in individuals and can be as effective as Prozac in treating depression.

Even if you are not depressed this exercise can make you feel even better, even happier about your lot than you did before … and happy, positive people according to a scientific study in 2001 live longer!

Gratitude is a habit that can be learnt like any other, provided we regularly practice. You might choose to use Happy Rambles but a handwritten journal which you keep by the side of your bed could work equally as well.

Just before you go to sleep go through all the good things that have happened during the day and out of these pick your ‘top three’. Now, make a note of your three ‘gifts’ or good things. They could be anything, last night mine were 1) the joy of being with my girlfriends at our book club and laughing together 2) my son bringing an ice cream home for his big sister after school 3) a stranger complimenting me on my coat in the tube station. Even the worst of days has some gifts if you look for them. Do this every night for at least  three weeks. After you have written your gifts for the day take a moment to read back and reflect on some of the others you have experienced. That’s it. That is all you have to do.

The children and I talk about our good things each evening as I put them to bed. When we first started my son’s best things continued to be ‘morning break, lunch break and afternoon break’ for quite some time. It was a momentous occasion when he substituted one of these for something funny that actually happened in the classroom!
Recalling positive things just before sleep means that you re-experience them and this means that your body releases exactly the same happy chemical cocktail into your blood stream that were released first time round. Your brain loves these chemicals. Piling one memory on top of the other multiplies their effect. Therefore you go to sleep happy.

When you get really good you can prime your brain to look out for things to be thankful for each morning when you get up … pick a time such as when you are brushing your teeth to get into the habit. Spend the time naming each person or thing you are thankful for and say thank you. Actually take the time to acknowledge each slowly and carefully. This will help you to be on the look out for good things. Our brains naturally look for things that are the same … which is why when you decide to buy a particular model of phone or car you suddenly start noticing them everywhere!!

 The folks at Happy Rambles have some Top Tips which I thought I would share with you:.

Be sure to write regularly. If you find yourself skipping days with increasing frequency, remind yourself why you’re maintaining the gratitude journal in the first place.

Write at the end of the day; it tends to bring the best benefits.

If you find yourself always mentioning the obvious things every day, challenge yourself to notice the subtle things, like your tasty lunch, or the sweet smell of your dog’s kisses.

Try taking a photo of something you are grateful for during the day and attach it to your evening reply. Yup, we’ll save it for you in your journal!

Reading over your journal entries can be a great pick-me-up when you’re feeling stressed or depressed.

If you find yourself writing about a friend or family member, email your journal entry to them. The positive effects of sharing your gratitude towards others can last up to a week.

So why not give it a go … the worst that can happen is you forget … the best, you live longer and get far more pleasure from your extended life!!!

Donna

www.self-compassion.orgsearch 

Go Easy on Yourself, a New Wave of Research Urges By TARA PARKER-POPE

A really interesting article about the importance of self compassion which is very different from self esteem and has clear links to feelings of well-being. If you re struggling to achieve self compassion we can assist you to examine why this is the case and help you to experience all the benefits that come from being kinder to yourself.

Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends and family?

That simple question is the basis for a burgeoning new area of psychological research called self-compassion — how kindly people view themselves. People who find it easy to be supportive and understanding to others, it turns out, often score surprisingly low on self-compassion tests, berating themselves for perceived failures like being overweight or not exercising.

The research suggests that giving ourselves a break and accepting our imperfections may be the first step toward better health. People who score high on tests of self-compassion have less depression and anxiety, and tend to be happier and more optimistic. Preliminary data suggest that self-compassion can even influence how much we eat and may help some people lose weight.

This idea does seem at odds with the advice dispensed by many doctors and self-help books, which suggest that willpower and self-discipline are the keys to better health. But Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the field, says self-compassion is not to be confused with self-indulgence or lower standards.

“I found in my research that the biggest reason people aren’t more self-compassionate is that they are afraid they’ll become self-indulgent,” said Dr. Neff, an associate professor of human development at the University of Texas at Austin. “They believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line. Most people have gotten it wrong because our culture says being hard on yourself is the way to be.”

Imagine your reaction to a child struggling in school or eating too much junk food. Many parents would offer support, like tutoring or making an effort to find healthful foods the child will enjoy. But when adults find themselves in a similar situation — struggling at work, or overeating and gaining weight — many fall into a cycle of self-criticism and negativity. That leaves them feeling even less motivated to change.

“Self-compassion is really conducive to motivation,” Dr. Neff said. “The reason you don’t let your children eat five big tubs of ice cream is because you care about them. With self-compassion, if you care about yourself, you do what’s healthy for you rather than what’s harmful to you.”

Dr. Neff, whose book, “Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind,” is being published next month by William Morrow, has developed a self-compassion scale: 26 statements meant to determine how often people are kind to themselves, and whether they recognize that ups and downs are simply part of life.

A positive response to the statement “I’m disapproving and judgmental about my own flaws and inadequacies,” for example, suggests lack of self-compassion. “When I feel inadequate in some way, I try to remind myself that feelings of inadequacy are shared by most people” suggests the opposite.

For those low on the scale, Dr. Neff suggests a set of exercises — like writing yourself a letter of support, just as you might to a friend you are concerned about. Listing your best and worst traits, reminding yourself that nobody is perfect and thinking of steps you might take to help you feel better about yourself are also recommended.

Other exercises include meditation and “compassion breaks,” which involve repeating mantras like “I’m going to be kind to myself in this moment.”

If this all sounds a bit too warm and fuzzy, like the Al Franken character Stuart Smalley (“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me”), there is science to back it up. A 2007 study by researchers at Wake Forest University suggested that even a minor self-compassion intervention could influence eating habits. As part of the study, 84 female college students were asked to take part in what they thought was a food-tasting experiment. At the beginning of the study, the women were asked to eat doughnuts.

One group, however, was given a lesson in self-compassion with the food. “I hope you won’t be hard on yourself,” the instructor said. “Everyone in the study eats this stuff, so I don’t think there’s any reason to feel real bad about it.”

Later the women were asked to taste-test candies from large bowls. The researchers found that women who were regular dieters or had guilt feelings about forbidden foods ate less after hearing the instructor’s reassurance. Those not given that message ate more.

The hypothesis is that the women who felt bad about the doughnuts ended up engaging in “emotional” eating. The women who gave themselves permission to enjoy the sweets didn’t overeat.

“Self-compassion is the missing ingredient in every diet and weight-loss plan,” said Jean Fain, a psychotherapist and teaching associate at Harvard Medical School who wrote the new book “The Self-Compassion Diet” (Sounds True publishing). “Most plans revolve around self-discipline, deprivation and neglect.”

Dr. Neff says that the field is still new and that she is just starting a controlled study to determine whether teaching self-compassion actually leads to lower stress, depression and anxiety and more happiness and life satisfaction.

“The problem is that it’s hard to unlearn habits of a lifetime,” she said. “People have to actively and consciously develop the habit of self-compassion.”

We are pleased to inform you that we have just become two of the first hypnotherapists in the country to achieve the new, Complementary & Natural Healthcare Council (CNHC ), national standard of excellence for therapy.

The CNHC is the UK regulator for complementary healthcare. The Department of Health recommends that, where CNHC registers the professional discipline in question, clients consult with someone who is CNHC registered. Practitioners registered with the CNHC meet national occupational standards and abide by a rigorous code of conduct, performance and ethics. By providing a verification of standards, the CNHC allows GPs, hospitals, private healthcare providers and insurance companies to refer patients to hypnotherapy practitioners or to make hypnotherapy more readily available in health centres, clinics, doctors’ surgeries and hospitals.

We believe that achieving registration is not only great news for us and our clients, but a vital step for hypnotherapy and that there is a role for working in a complementary manner with GPs supporting them in their work to alleviate a wide range of conditions and issues experienced by patients. More information can be found on the CNHC website www.cnhc.org.uk

Superintendent Raj Kohli is in talks with a “cognitive hypnotherapist”, who describes himself as “Derren Brown without the jazz hands”, about a pilot scheme for 20 fat officers in Camden.

Trevor Silvester, 51, helps people lose weight by lulling them into a trance at his surgery in Harley Street or through recordings that can be listened to on MP3 players as patients fall asleep.

In one part of Mr Silvester’s “Thinking Slimmer” programme, called Lose Those Love Handles, he talks in comforting tones to relax the patient before persuading their “unconscious mind” to stop eating.

The move is the latest by police chiefs to tackle obesity. About five per cent of Scotland Yard police staff are thought to be overweight, nearly 2,000 officers.

Mr Silvester was a sergeant in the Met for 18 years before retraining as a “cognitive hypnotherapist”. He told the Standard: “There is a concern within the Met about obesity. It’s very difficult to stay fit when you work shift patterns in that kind of environment. They struggle to eat well and take regular exercise.

“Supt Kholi wants to do the hypnotherapy programme. He was blown away by the idea as the Met are on a big health drive at the moment. My methods play on the psychological principle of ‘priming’ which helps people to make better food choices.”

In November 2009, it emerged that 16,000 Scotland Yard officers were offered “fat club” memberships and advised to sign up for a strict fitness regime to get them into shape.

The Odyssey Partnership can assist you too to lose weight using techniques developed by Trevor and the Quest Insitute. We provide 1-1 coaching and therapy and can also work corporately i.e. delivering workshops and training programmes or working 1-1 with workers organisations.

The hardest part of losing weight is often finding and keeping the motivation and staying focused on the goals. If this article has relevance for you why not give us a call; after all, what have you got to lose?

Happiness is good for you. It is also what people want. Everyone wants to be happy, yet many are not. This has been the human condition for as long as anyone can remember – Samuel Beckett said that the tears of the world are a constant quantity. But what if the tears of the world are not so constant? What if it really is possible for individuals and whole societies to shape and boost their happiness?

This simple but extraordinarily powerful idea lies behind Action for Happiness, a movement for social change which will be formally launched early in 2011. We know that, as our society has become richer, our happiness has not risen in step. Despite ever greater affluence, our lives are increasingly stressful.

This paradox requires a radical rethink of our lifestyle and our goals. The rat race is not helping, because one person’s success is simply another person’s failure. We need a more cooperative society where people expect more satisfaction from what they give than from what they get. This means a profound change of culture. So we are launching Action for Happiness as the focal point for a fundamental shift in cultural values

Why not check out the website? We often become absorbed in our own worlds and consequently our own problems … adopting some of the ideas from the site can help us all to look outside of ourselves and find more enjoyment and more pleasure – we can create the world we choose to live in.

The Power of Mindset

What’s something you’d love to learn?

Is it a language? A sport? A hobby?

A business tool, like sales, marketing or networking?

A social skill, like speaking with confidence, seducing men (or women), or making friends quickly and easily?

Now, imagine you have signed up for a six week introductory class in whatever it is you’d love to learn, taught by an unquestioned expert in the field. Your teacher stands up at the beginning of the day and says the following:

Good morning, class!

Today is the first day of our introductory classes, and I want to reassure you, there is nothing for you to worry about. What we will be learning here is something you will either be able to pick up easily or not. Each week, there will be a test to assess your level of ability. If you find you can learn it easily, this class and the full course to follow will help you to unleash and demonstrate your innate ability. If not, it will allow you to move on quickly and find something you are more naturally suited for. You may sign up for the full course or drop out of these introductory classes at any time…

How would you approach the class? How would you prepare for the first test? If you did poorly on that test, how would you approach the second? How long would you stay with the class before making a decision about whether to sign up or drop out?

When you have taken a few moments to explore your answers to those questions, take a few moments to imagine this scenario…

You have signed up for a six week introductory class in whatever it is you’d love to learn, taught by an unquestionable expert in the field. Your teacher stands up at the beginning of the day and says the following:

Good morning, class!

Today is the first day of our introductory classes, and I want to reassure you, there is nothing for you to worry about. What I will be presenting here is a learnable skill. Each week, there will be a test to assess how far along you are in your practice. If you apply yourself, this class and the full course to follow will give you everything you need to master this skill. If not, you will no doubt stay stuck at whatever level you currently find yourself at . You may sign up for the full course or drop out of these introductory classes at any time…

Same questions as last time – how would you approach the class? How would you prepare for the first test? If you did poorly on that test, how would you approach the second? How long would you stay with the class before making a decision about whether to sign up or drop out?

In her groundbreaking book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, author Carol Dweck shares the results of dozens of actual experiments not unlike the one above.

In each case, researchers deliberately influenced the mindset of test subjects in one of two directions. Some people were guided towards a Fixed Mindset – one where results were unlikely to change over time and were attributed to innate talent or intelligence. Others were guided towards a Growth Mindset – one where results could and would alter radically in proportion to individual effort, energy, application, focus and time.

In one of the most startling of the experiments, children who received identical grades on an exam were divided into two groups. The first group was praised for their intelligence, along the lines of “wow – 8 out of 10 – you’re so smart!”. The second group was praised for their application, along the lines of “wow – 8 out of 10 – you must have really worked hard!”

To the researchers amazement, the children who were told they had done so well because they were smart (the Fixed Mindset) actually became reticent to take on further, more advanced tests and even lied about their scores when asked to tell others how they had done. In stark contrast, the Growth Mindset children were eager to take on the more advanced work and told the truth about their scores.

So, what can we learn from this?

Well, the first thing to be aware of is how relatively easy it is to predispose someone towards either mindset simply by the words we use to describe and explain the activity.

If I want my kids (and clients and friends and wives and, well, you get the idea!) to approach life with a Growth Mindset, it will be important for me to develop the skill of presenting possibilities and attributing results to learning and application as opposed to any sort of innate ability.

The second is to become more aware of any areas where we ourselves have gotten stuck in a Fixed Mindset. This will often reveal itself in statements like:

• “I’m just no good at maths.”
• “I couldn’t carry a tune if my life depended on it.”
• “I’ve never been able to draw.”

These statements are often accurate assessments of past performance, but become limiting when used as predictors of future possibility.

Here are a few other useful guidelines for noticing what mindset you are bringing to your favorite and/or most important projects:

A classic example of how a fixed mindset can skew even the most positive of findings can be seen in the original intention behind the famous Stanford-Binet IQ tests. Far from being designed as a measure of intelligence as an innate character trait, Alfred Binet created the original tests as a way of evaluating which students needed extra help at school, even going so far as to warn that scores should not be interpreted literally due to the “plasticity” of intelligence.

And if the guy who created the model for modern IQ tests was smart enough to know that, perhaps we can all learn something truly valuable from our IQ score – that we can never accurately measure our future possibilities on the basis of our current reality.

Michael Neill is an internationally renowned success coach and the best-selling author of You Can Have What You WantFeel Happy Now!Effortless Success,  and the  audio program. He has spent the past 20 years as a coach, adviser, friend, mentor and creative spark plug to celebrities, CEO’s, royalty, and people who want to get more out of their lives. His books have been translated into 8 languages, and his public talks and seminars have been well received at the United Nations and on five continents around the world.

Check out Michael Neill’s Tips of the Day ….